For the sake of space and attention span, I wanted to make my post about
your blogging age a 2 part series. Who knows…it may even morph into a 3 or 4 part series depending on comments received and overall feedback.
Before I get to addressing some things mentioned in the comments of part 1, I want to continue the thought presented concerning age and how we present ourselves. This is going to address the idea of age and credibility. Now for some of you, this will be where we officially part ways. In fact go ahead and get your delete key finger warmed and ready because this might just cause you to stop reading and run to your friends list and angrily decide to remove me. And you know…that is ok.
So here is the advice to some of the younger bloggers again out there. Don’t blog as if you know all there is to know now about love and relationships when you have yet to live long enough to know enough about either. I am getting concerned when I see how many
“youngens” are blogging and giving advice to others about how to have a good relationship or how to understand love etc. If you are a teen, you have no idea what love is yet. Love for many young people is still a phase or crush. Having a BF or GF in high school is not a qualifier for telling others how to have a “long-lasting” relationship etc. There are stages of love and relationships that you have yet to even come close to experiencing. You don’t know what it is like yet to be at the 5 year stage of a marriage or, in most cases, even a relationship yet because…you
HAVEN’T BEEN ALIVE LONG ENOUGH YET. 
(intermission as to allow my younger readership time to go un-friend me while Jeopardy music plays in the background)Ok…if you are still reading, bless you because you are mature enough to listen to me explain more of what I mean. I am
NOT SAYING that someone should not blog about their love or their relationships or share a hurt feeling etc. I am
NOT SAYING that at all. I am saying that age and experience does matter when someone is trying to give someone else advice about love or marriage or relationships in general. For example, if you are 18…you really should have been seriously dating someone for no longer than about 2 years assuming you started dating at 16. Hopefully you have dated more than one person in those 2 years as well. Now with that assumption, you are equipped to help someone who is just starting to date with advice on maybe how to start etc, but you are not experienced enough yet to tell someone how love really works and how to make a relationship last. Sorry if that upsets you, but it is fact and it is something you will see as you mature and get older. Some of us who have been married for several years still look to those older than us for marital advice and for examples. That is how it works. That is how you learn. You don’t yell up the age hill at 18 or so and try to tell a married couple how to better get along or how they can make their marriage better.
Again…recognize your real age and don’t try to be an expert already in the eyes of your readers.
Now this brings me to addressing again something I tried to bring out in part 1. The most negative responses I received when I discussed the age we portray by what we blog came from those “younger” bloggers. It was fascinating to see their reaction. Those who were negative took my post as slam against anyone who was a teen or in their early 20’s. I kept going back and I tried to see where I somehow said or implied that the younger bloggers should be overlooked or discounted and I couldn’t find it. But then one particular commenter made me connect the dots to an issue that actually corresponded with my main point. I am finding a relationship between the young people who responded negatively and arrogance mingled with a dose of disrespect.
(again intermission as to allow ample time for some more friend culling…cue music)I am still amazed how some
16-21 yr old folks claim to be authorities on a subject when, at best, they have thoroughly studied a subject for only 4 years. Now again…I am
NOT SAYING they are unlearned on a topic or are not skilled, but it seems that the internet and blogging has spawned a new breed of “experts” that can claim to be experts without having to show it through either experience or proven work.
Here is a way to detect such a person. They like to throw out the word ignorant a lot when confronted with someone who disagrees with their scholarly assessment. They claim a “higher understanding” on a subject because of their “years of in-depth study” in their discussions. They often resort to verbal abuse when someone questions their aptitude. Sounding familiar? Have ya met a few of those out here? These new
“Mensa” members have even called others a “kiddo” who was
19 years their elder and made sure that the other person knew that have completed “years of research” at the ripe age of 21. Some have said, “Old people are being taught by US (younger) because we are more proficient in the ways of today.” Uh…what??? That is a direct quote by the way from a younger proficient scholar on this blog site.
Now again, this is
NOT SAYING that those younger are not intelligent and smart and may know more on some subject than some “older” folks, but only arrogance and lack of respect makes someone claim it outright without knowing anything about the other party in the discussion.
Advice to the younger crowd again…learn some respect. Quit vaulting yourself into the category of the intellectually elite and try to show some respect to those who have seen more years of life than you and understand that
wisdom trumps intelligence any day of the week. Young people…you want to be treated with respect and given credibility? If so then quit with the indecent responses and comments and know that there are plenty of incredibly gifted and intelligent aged members of society who will still respectfully disagree with your own ideology and belief system.
A quote from a favorite movie of mine…”Here endeth the lesson.”
(Edited Friday 8:56PM CDT) For those interested in seeing what I wrote about in action...please reference the comments. It did not take long.
One friend down and counting...
Comments (139)
I won't delete you, but I you're flat out wrong no matter how many old people agree with you. Age means nothing, note how only old people think it does. Age doesn't stop you or anyone else from having no idea about which you speak. I can love, I can also hate. My grandparents met when they were 16, got married at 18, and stayed married until my grandfather died at the age of 79. How dare you say they couldn't have been in love. My grandfather fought in World War II, literally saving the world. He was wiser at that age and had experienced more than you ever will.
By the way, the definition of respect is not agreeing with you. Respect is earned when it is given. You have no respect for me due to my age. You assume I will react in a certain manner. Which is disrespectful. I can assume one thing about you: you don't have much actual experience with people my age, do you?
@scrambledmegzntoast@hardestlevel - Come on now. Go back an read it again and find where I said an 18 yr old could not be in love. Where did I say that? I said they are not in a position to give marital advice to someone who is married etc. That is not the same as what you claimed I said.
@oeshpdog2 - Love for many young people is still a phase or crush.
If you are a teen, you have no idea what love is yet.
@oeshpdog2 - See, that's the problem with writing things down. Words stick. Unlike saying something, you cannot just go back and say prove I said it.
Old people don't deserve anymore respect than young people. How many "elders" have jobs they whine about for years on end? And generally jaded and cynical in a whole lot of other ways? Elders can be as foolish as youngens.
True there are many young kids out there who are 'all-knowing' idiots. But age does not necessarily matter. I knew an eleven year-old when I was in college who I saw every now and then on campus with his student-father. This kid and I would have discussions about history and he would blow me away with his knowlege and understanding (knowledge) as well as his opinions and his grasp on the effects of past wars and world events (wisdom). I was awestruck every time I spoke with him because I was/am a big fan of history.
There is a saying from somewhere about "a child shall lead them." I guess it just depends on the particular youth you are confronted with daily.
@scrambledmegzntoast@hardestlevel - That is exactly what I said and you will notice some qualifying words in that statement "Love for many..." That is a true statement and does not mean 100% of every 18 yr old.
@Paul_Partisan - I addressed that in part1
@oeshpdog2 - If you are a teen, you have no idea what love is yet.
I don't see any qualifying words in that one. Would you like to add some, now?
I just kind of laugh it off when I see the advice stuff.
The respect thing, well, that's not exclusive to the internet, unfortunately.
@scrambledmegzntoast@hardestlevel - Nope...stand behind it because you don't. Love is more than the first phase that you feel when dating or even when you are newlyweds. When you get older, get married, mature some more...you will look back and agree. I like how you equate someone giving advice to younger people as a form of racism on your pulse.
@oeshpdog2 - It is ageism, not a form of racism. I compared it to racism, I did not say it was a form of racism. By definition, that would be impossible. How is that whole wisdom thing going for you? It doesn't seem to be helping with the reading comprehension.
I find it hard to believe I will look back and agree with anything you have written here. If I ever do, I would hope that someone puts me out of my misery. You didn't answer my question, by the way. Do you have any significant real world experience with people my age? For example, raised kids to be my age and beyond (I am 17, by the way)? Taught high school or college? Or is this all internet encounters? And passing uppity teens on the street and at the mall.
@crystal_air - I agree. I sort of narrowed down this post after the types of responses I received from the one where I address young and old. It seemed that the younger ones honed in a point that was not really the main point at all of my post and tried to prove how all-knowing they were which was a tad ironic for that post. I hope people see that I am not taking away from the intelligence of our youth, but only addressing those who feel they have reached the peak of learning and feel the need to let everyone else know about it.
Thanks for your comments
@scrambledmegzntoast@hardestlevel - This is what you said for the record..."Disrespect due 2 age is the same as due 2 skin color."
@oeshpdog2 - And I first identified it as ageism. Please avoid projecting your shortcomings in logic upon me. And you still haven't addressed my question. But you will not and claim I am being "disrespectful" for telling the truth. Oh well.
@scrambledmegzntoast@hardestlevel - Thanks for clarifying your age so people will see my point. I was a teen at one poiint...believe it or not. I think that qualifies me to speak about being a teen.
@oeshpdog2 - Yep, that's what I expected. A complete brush off. You cannot support your argument, so you will brush me off due to my age. About that friend thing, on second, thought, I would rather not see any more of your pointless drivel in my inbox. Bye.
It all depends really.
I know a few teenagers who have been through some stuff that a lot of people who are much older have never been through and could never understand. In my opinion, age isn't so much what make someone wiser. It's experience and education that makes people wiser.
And you're right, having studied something for four years doesn't makes someone an expert on the subject, but it does give you more expertise on the subject than someone who has never studied it at all.
Anyways, this post (and the one before it) was rather interesting and I look forward to reading parts 3 and 4 if you do decide to write them.
Your are awesome! I love your posts! If I had a top friends list like myspace I would put you on it. This blog is very to the point, tactful and truthful. I don't think anyone should take it wrong and delete you as a friend. We all can learn from each other, I learn from my experiences and the advice given to me by others who have been through similar situations, mostly they are people older than I. I respect their advice. Though as a teenager I probably didn't, but now realize as I get older, that it is wise to listen and take advice from those who have more experience in life than I do. because they have been through it. I have hit my 30th year on this earth this past may, and I tend to find myself giving advice to younger people, almost a lecture sometimes, lol. whether it is in one ear and out the other, its their choice, but as they get older they will also realize the same as I. Listen and take advice from someone who can tell you from experience 1st hand. I bet they have a few years on ya too. :)
I saw your general point in part 1 as being more about being true to who you are and not something you aspire to be according to age and experience. On this one I see it as more of a dismissal of youth in general. There are those who may be lacking in age, but full of experience in life due to circumstances. Then there are those who are past the age of retirement who have lived very sheltered lives and know very little outside their own world. Does that then mean the elder should be listened to above the youngster? You addressed relationships in particular in this post and I will assume (which is dangerous, I know) that you have been involved in a situation where you see someone of lesser years giving relationship advice. Sometimes it doesn't take much 'experience' to see something others may not. When we live in a forest, we don't necessarily see the individual trees and need to be shown they are there.
When I was 18 I had lived on 4 continents and with a dozen different cultures. I had also been involved in photography for 11 years. Would you assume because of my age I could not give you advice on staying in Australia and how to adjust to the cultural differences then? Or would my 11 years of experience and professional (yes professional as in paid) expertise be dismissed because my passport said I was not yet eligible to be served alchol?
As a rule are most young ones lacking? Certainly, but not all. Yet they will have the opportunity to grow, as I have and you have and your parents did before you and realize that what we do/say/feel/think at 18 will not be the same at 28, 38, 58 or 88. If you remember being a teen, then don't also forget the times you thought you knew it all, and your parents knew next to nothing about being young.
Good posts!
I don't think that reaction from your younger reader was a shock. That's part of being a teen, stage of life. Her g-parents might have gotten married as teens, fought in a war etc.. and they could have given advice on that, but likely weren't giving advice as teenage newlyweds to couples maybe 20 years older than they were. Nor advice to soldiers who were older and had seen more combat. I think your point was lost on the reader. But then if someone marries young and it is 20 years later, and they are giving advice to someone older than them who is just married, then it is really experience more than age that matters. A young soldier who has seen two tours of combat could give advice to an older recruit... I think it's based on experience, which unfortunately, does have to do with age lots of times. With age comes more experiences. Oh well. I find it interesting how passionate and angry people can get just over reading something on the internet, and how personally they can take things when they have never even met a person. Everyone has a right to like or not like someone's opinion but everyone is entitled to that opinion. ..... I'm going to un-friend you now.
@AnamcharaConcepts - I am hoping that some younger readers see that it is never acceptable to be disrespectful to someone their elder or feel that they automatically know more than someone who is older without first learning that they actually do. In love and marriage or relationships in general, it is impossible or a young teen to know enough, no matter what their personal experiences might be, to offer advice to someone older who is in a relationship or married. But again...I also realize exceptions to every rule which I hope readers understand. I know that even though you had 11 years of experience in your field, you would not have been disrespectful to someone much older and assumed you knew more than they without some way of knowing that for sure first (i.e. they are not photographers etc). I am seeing young people make statements where they are assuming already that they "know more" without any possible way of coming to that conclusion.
The disrespect is appaling and I hope that is being considered by some. It is getting worse or is worsened by the internet in my opinion. Anywho...hope that clarifies some of my thoughts. I can see a part 3 coming.
Thanks for your thoughts.
@oeshpdog2 - I would hope that people in general start realizing it's not acceptable to be disrespectful period. We see it everywhere but are more in tune to it on the interenet as that is a powerful social arena. With the media slamming entertainers that make a living by being obnoxious down our throats all the time, it's no wonder more and more people cannot help but have chips on their shoulders and have attitudes. I see it in teens, 30 somethings and 50 somethings. It's nice to have a dialogue to agree to disagree as you have said to us before. I'm looking forward to see what you have to say in part 3.
@AnamcharaConcepts - i agree w/ what you've said here in both your comments. i was thinking along the same lines, so don't have anything else to add =)
I was joking about the un-friending.. you knew that right?